(Source: theone-x, via even-if-it-hurts)

melliflu0us:

me 

(Source: vid, via nothinglikeawkward)

(via bristough)

(via krankenhaus)

(Source: wakinuptolove, via dearxromeo)

(via krankenhaus)

(via krankenhaus)

(Source: h-e-r-o-i-n, via krankenhaus)

(via krankenhaus)

Fuck. Why am i so pissed off. For fuck’s sake. You’re all the damn same. Fuck.

I hate people.

I hate this world.

Fucking fuck. Fuck you.

Everything you told me was all lies.

I hate myself for ever believing you.

I hate myself for.. ah.

Just fuck it.

Confession:

That slip you made today? Oh yeah it hurt like fuck.

Yeah see? I don’t know.. Ahh geez. I knew this was gonna happen. And honestly, i’m glad you’ve gotten past everything. I’m not worth it to just like. gah. You don’t understand. I don’t think you ever did. I’m intuitive.. Well.. Kinda psychic HAHAHA i don’t even know what i’m trying to say here exactly. Just that i’m glad your life is going in the right direction once again and mine is too. I’m honestly actually alright, happy, really good x) sigh, i feel like we just made it harder for ourselves cause we made it seem like there was something there when in actual fact there wasn’t actually anything.. LOLOL i don’t even know.

We never met because of fate before and i really fucking hope it stays like that from now on.

(Source: stikoeater, via infinitytinaaaa)

(Source: a-knife-leads-to-scars, via blackn-w)

Confession…? Rant? Epiphany?

So for the past few days i’ve been.. stressing? about my life and where its headed basically. Its just..When it comes to the future and what I want to do with my life.. I just want everything to be perfect and have everything according to plan. Ever since I was young, I never really imagined myself living in Sydney, or Australia even, after high school. Or ever really. There’s just something about America mainly that calls to me. I want to go into the medical field and i need a super duper high ATAR to get into the Uni I want to go to in Sydney, and honestly? I don’t think that’s even possible for me. I’m not that smart, and it’s just.. to even think that I can get those marks sound so wrong and far fetched. Even if i do try my best there’s no way I can get up there you know? I don’t know whether this is because I have no faith in myself or what but yeah.. So.. I’ve been looking at Universities overseas… Vancouver, Canada to be exact. I really really really want to get into UBC. Even though they only accept Canadian citizens and permanent residents into the Medicine course. I’m thinking of going into the Arts (Psychology) since it only requires the general admission requirements (I’m positive I can obtain those results and hopefully I can get a scholarship~~~~)  and study it for three years then applying for a permanent resident card and getting into Medicine. This is my plan. Plain and simple. In my opinion it is so much easier to get into UBC than one of the prestigious Unis here. Plus, UBC is in the top five in Canada so I don’t see why not. The only problem is my parents, money and the long process. Other than that, I don’t see what the harm is. Eventually, I think I would want to apply for a Canadian citizenship in the longrun… 

Now that, is kinda like an intro to what I was originally planning to say. One, I never really wanted to go to Canada.. ever. I never even thought of Canada. The thought of applying for to Unis as an International student never crossed my mind (besides Harvard Medical School l0l0l0l) I just.. Now… it’s all I want. 

I never wanted this so badly. By doing this, it could fulfil so many dreams for me. I really really want this. 

A large part of the reason is for my education. But another large part of the reason is because of him. And I just realised how scary it is, that because he mentioned one thing, I got into thinking and planning for the future already. It’s scary how much I want this. It’s scary how.. possible it all feels right now. It’s scary how I’m even willing to let go of everything here to go. (Not that I’m holding onto much here but yeah) 

Even though my mum said no, I’m still going to apply for UBC. Even if I don’t end up going, I want to see if I can get accepted. I want to know that this is possible. I want to know. 

I don’t even want to stay here anymore. I’m not even close to anyone. There’s no one here.. And if going there means that I can have a good education that will lead me to all sorts of career paths (ones that I really want) Why the hell would i not want to go? Even right now, I am willing to drop everything in a second to go there. I swear, I will try my hardest to get into UBC. For educational purposes…and him. 

Plusplusplus, I am pretty certain I am going to Canada next year. wooot~ Sigh, the things I do for him. la.